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Going On Public Mode Again
Sunday, 19 July 2015 || 02:29
I made this blog private months ago. I can't remember exactly how many months ago; When did I put it on private mode. For some reasons, I am not comfortable if people I know personally scroll through my blog until god-knows-how-far-they-can-go page. I think I have mentioned it in some of my posts on the other blogging sites that when people told me in person that they accidentally came across my blog/s *yeah, blog slash s*, it feels I have shared a piece of something that is not supposed to be spilled. Freaking out silently, then asking myself what have they read and next time I will totes privatized my blog. Tho I could put on private mode some of the selected post (which is what I've been doing. I also did revert to draft few published posts I had before making this blog public again). HAHAHAHA!
When some people ask me why am I even blogging if I do not want it to be read by people I'll just say that I do not want people I know PERSONALLY to read it. Not to mention the situation of them telling me, "Uy, nakita ko blog mo." It is like me hearing it as "Uy, nabasa ko lahat ng nasa blog mo."AND they'll subsequently throw me pieces of my blog posts. Really? Could you excuse me for a sec while I pull myself together or find a mask. It's not like my blog is a page online full of OOTDs, foods, places-you-should-visit-because-it's-a-sponsored-post, whatnots. I'd rather hear someone checking my blog posts if I have those kind of blogs. But mine is just like an online reverie closet of my random thoughts- fangirling, college happenings, 2-am-thoughts, name it! Basically, anything under the sun. Ah-huh.
The time I make this blog private, I also start to become busy, MIA, like I make myself go also on hiatus. Seven years ago, my inner blogger self set up a blog(not this one) because I know at some point when I back read a post of mine, chances are, I will be motivated. Inspired. Time unfolds, I still blog whenever I have spare time, sometimes on tumblr. Until there were days when someone would tumblr-asked me, formspring-ed me, askfm-ed me about something-- mostly, college stuff. Like why did I choose BSA. Why AMV. And then I had this feeling I was not the only one motivating myself, but also a few who wanted to dare taking the same steps I did take before.
I have read my past post titled, What Feels Good for a Blogger. Ohhh feels. I think making this public again, it's worth it.
PS: For someone I know in person, if you happen to discover my blog intentionally or not, it's okay. I chose to share those thoughts online. ;)
Of Walls and Fears
Friday, 29 August 2014 || 10:27
How would you expect someone bring down her walls with bundles of what ifs floating in her mind and a bunch of skepticism?
At some points, I was advised to take down the walls, or at least just build a fragile barricade. "C'mon, test the waters!" Neither of the options has been taken by me. But don't fret. I just decided to make another choice, the choice I bravely take-- lowering down the wall and not totally break it. Nonetheless, I find myself taking what I somehow notice with a pinch of salt.
The what ifs are still there. The past experiences still find their way to creep in. Basically, I am doing things for the could-be's but scrutinizing even the smallest print my eyes can detect then unintentionally foresee random results with the help of 'my past' as the basis. The result? My box labeled "unworthy" is almost full now.
What does it take for someone to be called "worthy enough"? It is when that person has plan to stay in your future and is not just another part-time person strolling for a nanosecond in your life. Not a Landi Landi Lang! By then, I know I am willing to take a slice out of my attention allotted on my study for that special person.
Of Summer Heat, Blisters, Confrontations, and Pig Out [Late Post]
Thursday, 22 May 2014 || 04:28
I don't want to make this post long. As much as possible, I only like to bombard this with lots of photos taken by my friend. Yes, more like photo blog post. Haha! But this will look unlively. So I am going to spice this up a bit by jotting down just few of what happened the day these photos were taken.
Speaking of free, I am sharing this Firmoo voucher code 72b859e6a. This can save $30 off on the Vintage Cat Eye Frames! ♥
My friend waited for me on the ground floor level. I went straight to 2nd floor and meet someone-who-must-not-be-named. Finally, we talked with a lil bit of initial awkwardness around. Okay. I won't spill everything here. I'd rather not talk about it either. Then we part ways, and looked for my friend at the grocery for like 5 minutes! UGH -__- Langya pa ng ringback tone na, Maybe This Time. Nahawa phone ko!